Dear Emi,
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years. He was like my bestfriend. I shared everything with him and thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. A couple of days ago he texted me after being broken up for now 3 weeks saying he wants to be friends. Should I let him back in?
Looking for your adivce as I am torn.
Thank you,
Amanda F.
Hi Amanda,
I know what it feels like to be torn on deciding whether to let someone back into your heartspace especially after moving on. The truth is this is a personal decision which is case by case. Here are some suggestion of steps to take after a break up if you want to remain friends with your ex.
Have you cooled off. Even if it was an amicable breakup have you taken time to evalute the reason for the break up and even taken it a step forward by learning from the break up. Take the needed time to heal yourself before you communicate with your ex. Take a breather and reflect and plan for your future without your ex!
Make your intentions clear. If you want to stay in touch be clear about the reasons for communicating. It will reduce the chances of any painful misunderstandings that can occur if expectations aren't being met, yet again.
Think before you become intimate. Being intamate with an ex is a delicate issue as it can resurfaca old wounds. Think about it carfully and if it does happen do not judge nor shame yourself for it. The Love you have for someone can not be wipped away in a day it is a process and you have to give yourself grace as you go through this process.
Set boundaries. Decide what you are comfortable with. If you and your ex are at ease with discussing personal matters, you both may benefit from talking with someone who knows you so well. Otherwise, you may want to keep your contacts cordial but more superficial.
Learn from experience. Welcome every relationship as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the world around you. Take satisfaction in your personal growth instead of viewing breaking up as a failure.
Continued friendship with your ex could be very beneficial for you or it could cause you grief. Make your decision carefully, reflecting on your true feelings. Whatever you decide, clarify your intentions and treat each other with compassion so you can feel good about whatever your future holds.
If you are ready to heal after heartbreak download my heartbreak recovery guide. It's the ultimate guide teaching you how to heal after heartbreak so you can move on with confidence!