• Emi Valerio

Life Lessons

I want to talk to you about something. I want to talk to you about S E X. Growing up in a Latino household, even insinuating anything related to sex was frowned upon so you can just imagine how challenging this post will be for me. I am bracing myself because I am going to begin sharing with you my thoughts on C E L I B A C Y and how my past sexual experiences (Sorry Mami!) has led me to this lifestyle. It is important for me to stand in my truth and share with you without the shame and guilt that comes with this taboo topic. Shame and guilt is a tactic that the devil uses on us daily to distract us from our goals. Today, here, and right now I am choosing to free myself and share an important piece of my life in hopes it can help another young woman or man out there who is under the same predicaments I use to be in. Now, my past does not make or bound me but it sure has taught me some invaluable lessons. The first lesson is LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE, AND NOT THE NOISE SURROUNDING YOU!


I first learned about sex at a young age through my friends and our conversations. However, in high school our casual conversations started to escalate quickly! They’d start with “Hey, are you eating those French Fries?” proceeded by “Do you want ketchup with those?” then the final and awaited bomb… “Are you still a virgin?” to which I’d reply “Yes…” Flying over their head they’d go back to asking dumb questions like “Did you do your homework?” and once it finally registered that I was indeed still a virgin they’d dramatically exclaim “WAITTTT… WHAT? You’re still a virgin? Girl, you don't know what your missing!” The conversations at our lunch table were on another level. My high school friends gave me their unorthodox casual advice daily and naturally these started to influence my judgement and poke my curiosity. I began to feel urges that I never knew existed. Soon after, I took care of those urges without having the knowledge to make a better decision. Oh, if you are a mother to a young child and are reading my post, I advise you to have the birds and the bees talk with your daughter / son because they are getting this information from everywhere else except you. You see, I work as a school counselor in a middle school and I know too well the conversations that are happening in their lunch rooms, which are filled with 95% false information. Like me, many teenagers in schools are still being denied sex education courses and grow up with many misconceptions about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), including HIV and AIDS. Talking about sex is now "nothing new" and a “hot topic" because everyone seems to be engaging in it.


I truly wish I knew then, what I know now! Had I been equipped with more information and grounded in spirituality like I am today I would have waited for marriage. My sexual history has been filled with moments that have dragged me down. From these soul ties, I have received a few minutes of pleasure and too many hours of combined grief, depression, and self-hatred. I can now speak openly about my experience but honestly I very much wish that I could turn back that hands of time. Since time travel is not one of my powers, I have decided I can change my now. I am choosing CELIBACY until God unites me in marriage with my husband.

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She Commands, LLC

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