Lately, I have been feeling as though my time to start a family is dwindling down. Although I am a successful woman of color that has a great job with benefits, fabulous friends, and a loving family I still feel like time is not on my side. Out of curiosity, do any of you feel this way?
I am grateful for all that the Lord has done for me but as my high school reunion approaches I am wondering "where has time gone?" It is mind-blowing how these ten years have flown by. It feels like I was in high school just yesterday! I was daydreaming about my future, and suddenly I blinked to find myself here.
Ten years ago, my goal was to work in McDonald's until I moved up the company's ranks. Never in a million years would I see myself with a Master’s, running my own side venture, and looking to start a non-profit organization. You see, as a teenager I never had mentors or educators that asked me about my future aspirations. In fact, I was often discouraged and told that I would not make it far. My community exposed me to teenage pregnancies, drug abuse, gang violence, death, and many other gruesome experiences. All I knew and was focused on was not being a statistic. Fast forward to present day, I find myself yearning for a life partner and motherhood.
I have been blessed with beautiful life experiences. A life filled with tons of laughter, joy, and happiness. The closer I become to the Lord, the more faith I have that he will make a way for my dreams. With every bone in my body, I can proclaim that the Lord will bestow more blessings upon me soon. I am extremely excited and ready for these blessings!
While I am excitedly waiting, I’ll be honest and confess that I sometimes become a little impatient. Who am I kidding? I become a whole lot of impatient! So whenever I feel this way I turn to my bible and read Psalm 37:7, which reads "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." Since I wait semi-patiently, I do have conversations with him and ask why has he allowed all this time to pass without blessing me with a spouse and children? The lovely thing is that God does not have to answer our ‘why?’ (as we see in Job). Our lord hears my and your prayers! It takes constant reminders but I am satisfied knowing that God will provide me with the things and people he sees fit for MY life in HIS PERFECT TIMING. I might not know ‘why’, but I do know that his timing is just right!
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
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