• Emi Valerio

5 Steps To Remaining Celibate When You Are Single

My decision is simply choosing celibacy. My decision is choosing to grow closer to God!

In my decision to grow closer to God, he has revealed to me that choosing celibacy is one of the ways I can create space for the things he will bless me with. It is a choice I am glad and grateful to have made. If celibacy is something God is calling you to do I want to help you. There are 5 tangible steps that I have utilized during my single season to remain celibate and in turn have created space for God and self-healing.

5 Steps To Remaining Celibate When You Are Single:

1. Be in a daily relationship with God: It is essential to take time to pray to the Lord at least once a day. Even if it is just blessing your food. Talking to God will help you build a connection with him. Daily prayer has given me the ability to resist temptation when it came my way. Understand that the enemy can tempt you daily and does not give up. Resist with prayer.

2. Avoid Alcohol and/or Drugs: Risky behavior, especially sexual, often occurs under the influence of alcohol (beer, spirits, wine, etc.) and/or drugs. Personally, I subconsciously stopped drinking when I started growing closer to God. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I have not craved or desired alcohol while out with my friends. Instead of my occasional Gin & Tonic, I am now asking for Ginger Ale.

3. Set and Create A Trigger List and BOUNDARIES: During my beginning stages of celibacy, I decided to make a list of the things that pushed me to having sex. Although this sounds simple it made me realize that I was using my body to show a man that I cared for him instead of using my words. My triggers led me to my boundaries.

4. Fill Your Life with Productive and Joyful Activities: My journey to celibacy has allowed me to try things that I never knew I would enjoy and love. For instance, I now love painting, blogging, branding & marketing, serving at church, cooking, knitting, and reading. These new found pleasures have also lead me to a closer relationship with God while creating discipline for my mind. Engaging in more productive activities gives me confirmation that I can utilize my time in better ways that do not involve sex. I feel more focused on God's will for my life. I have said it before and I will say it again: 5 minutes of pleasure will not compare to a lifetime of HAPPINESS.

5. Be Confident in Your Singleness! Rest assure that there is NOTHING wrong with being single. Being single does not make you of lesser value than someone who is in a relationship, engaged or married. Understand that in this season you are being pruned and being made whole by the Lord. His timing is never off, nor is it ever wrong. Wait for him to align your path with your mate because your are truly WORTH THE WAIT! Can you imagine rushing the Lord’s creation and setting for a man or woman who he has not been ordained for you? I hope not. I am single and confident that the Lord will bring into my life the man that is worth the wait.

With Love,


#singleinthecity #celibacy #thewait

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