Updated: Jan 20
You never know what a person is going through!
On the outside I looked like a normal college student, but on the inside I was crying for help. In 2011, I tried to take my life, not for the first time but for the second. I was a couple months short of graduation and was failing one of my academic courses. This one course was my ticket out of a place I called home for four years. Although I studied and worked hard to ensure I passed the class, I still wasn't grasping the information and was failing the course. Negative self talk and beliefs creeped back in and I began to believe the lies they told me. I began to believe that I was a burden, failure and waste to society.
My particular method was going to be overdosing on narcotic pain pills. On this particular day, I had digested over 15 pills of 800 (mg) Ibuprofen with alcohol. Research shows that the recommended dosage for adults is one or two 200 milligram (mg) tablets every four to six hours. Adults should not exceed 800 mg at once or 3,200 mg per day. In this exact moment I overly exceeded the recommended dosage and believed I rid myself of this world.
Call it what you want, but I call it God's grace. He saw me in this fragile state and wasn't done with me yet. It never occured to me that the negative thoughts I had were wrong. I believed EVERY SINGLE WORD and those words almost cost me my life. I was drowning in my sorrows and it never occurred to me to speak to anyone. I held my feelings in for so long until I released my feelings in the form of tears and negative thoughts.
I am writing this post because we often do not know what another person is battling. So many people are doing life alone instead of doing life with others. We as a collective can make a difference. Today I ask that you speak life into someone. Affirm their life and contribution to society. A simple encouraging word can make a difference. Change begins with you!
Often I am asked how am I so positive and always smile and my response is simple because I shouldn't be alive! We all battle something but if you have ever experienced depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-SUICIDE.
Or consult these Web sites for expert advice: